Postcards to a past

 Peggy     The weather is warm and sunny, springtime in the Rockies. Wish you were here.      I can't imagine you in the typical college experience. Not to be rude, but as I went through that ritual, it was fairly regimented, not much opportunity for freedom inside the walls of the campus (I actually ended up in Missouri for it. Not sure.) I just meant we were not the staying inside the boundaries kind of people back in the day. Well, for me outside campus too, Missouri, you know. And I could never deal with living in New York City. I have enough trouble dealing with all the people here (150,000 pop.). Could not survive without seeing mountains, hiking through them. trees, birds (great blue heron today); nature, you know. Though I, too, would spend days in some museum.     She stands as an angel in my brain. Her picture from so long ago haunts me (yes, yes my dreams).     

 Peggy,     Still waiting for my astrology book. Not even sure why I bought it. Yeah, I'm not surprised "a lot" of your clients use it to guide their lives. Your letter to me about what the stars said we were was, as every cool person is fond of saying these days, "spot on". While it is hard to believe the basis is kind of bullshit. Are they that desperate? Well, the illnesses have something to do with it, I understand that but...     I'm sorry about Steve. There is no way to ease the pain of someone's death. I think suddenness can be a good thing...(I know, I know, what I just said...) That... Anyway, I am sorry. He and I did have a short friendship back in the day. In our gatherings, he and I had some very constructive conversations and actually had some fun in there, whatever fun I could have back then.     Yes, we still walk softly. And yes, I still read a lot, though not as much science fiction. I, too, love movies. But god no, not ...

Peggy,     Lost in the jungle.     I am so happy to hear from you.     When you walk into your office, knowing you are going to face pain, how do you? You were always so easy with people. I could never do it for so long.      I was glad to hear (yeah, yeah) Suzanne and John are doing so well, though John as a nurse was a lot of wonder. Suzanne must have spent long hours to get him to join her. Definitely a fit for her. She was like you, in that way. Helping, I mean.

 Peggy,     I read ebooks, have had at least three ereaders, but I agree that there is something about having a book in your hands. The feel of the paper, the effort to hold it open, the simple movement of turning the page, the smell of a new old print. Same feelings when I hold your letters. I typed them into my laptop, but it's just not the same as holding the paper, having the envelopes, the act of taking the letters out, the unfolding, the whole process, seeing your handwriting, the spacing, spelling. The smell of the paper is gone after so many years. Brings me closer...     So, you asked about me, what I do, did, am I happy, still writing, etc. There isn't enough paper, ok, there is an endless supply of these digital documents. My fingers couldn't do all that typing, at least, all in one effort.      I am an old grump, typical, not that I hate life, it's just harder. I never married. I was a nurse, ten years, then I was done w...

 Peggy,     I hope you still write.      I don't mean to be one of your patients, sorry, clients. Life is just so tiring. And it's good to hear (yeah, I know) you finally laugh. Not good to hear you are alone, again. Here I am.     Sorry, about this part.     I look at her face every night. Remembering her voice, the feel of her skin.      You haven't said much about your family. Your younger sister was always kind to my wandering, immature, ignorant soul. I don't know that I like the word soul. I haven't found one (word) that I like, that fits, yet.

 Peggy,     First, I had a hard time reading your postcard as I had tears in my eyes as I read your name and address. Sat on the sidewalk to read the rest. Couldn't walk. You came back to me... Don't know what to write.