Postcards to a past

 Peggy,     And no, I am not a player. I let M know about her, besides, you know she is also married with kids. Just nice to reach back to her. Back then, I never had the courage to let her know, thank her for her kindness. Didn't seem the manly thing to do... back then.     I work at a book store, so yes, I will see your book before we actually put in on the shelf, helps to be friends with the boss. Oh, I pay for whatever I get. I never was very good a being a thief, if you'll recall. We don't sell a lot of poetry, like all stores, but we do keep more than most. Let me know if you do the signing circuit, maybe we could book you. Did I mention she is an artist?      Do you remember a camping trip a few of us went on, I want to say it was just after graduation, when kids are between lives?      It is difficult for me to describe her. I'll try next time.     

 Peggy,     NO, I don't want to be one of your clients. You did enough of that a lifetime ago, not only for me. This is therapy enough.     And I have gone through deaths, family, close friends, not so close acquaintances, but they were all natural deaths, in a sense, anyway. Disease is still a natural process. No violence, no accidents, not even work related accidents and I've known people working in fields that I would never have the courage or physical strength to do. Shit, things like building skyscrapers (had a friend that worked in Thailand for a few years building one). So, I have only my imagination to try and relate to what happened to Luke. And I am so sorry.     Yes, I remember M(artha). She was always very kind to me. It is one of my life's little joys (you are a much bigger one) to hear she wants to communicate; so, yes, you can give her my address. Didn't she have an older brother?

Peggy,     All that said, the anger I lived was her telling me what to wear, what to eat, who to talk to (as in friends), what to listen to...and on and on. The anger. I am jealous of you two, taking care of it. I never did and I suffered (woe is me) for it for a very long time. Until now, it destroyed my relationships into one night stands. Though some of those were pretty nice. Ok. Weird, I know. Well, maybe not weird...what's the word...     Anyway.     If you are up to it, tell me about Luke.     She is an artist. Visual. Something I could never be. She has her own gallery. Again, something I don't have the courage to do, own a business, I mean.     I have a hard time visualizing you angry. Like punching in the face angry. With all the shit we had in our lives back in the day, you were the calmness around which we circled. I remember K having so much trouble with the stealing anything with anger. As much as I...